Newly acquired CRC tank gets flat tire responding to call for emergency photo-op

RANDALLS ISLAND – Earlier today, a 10-85 called by members of the Critical Response Command (CRC) resulted in tragedy when the elite counterterrorism unit’s new piece of equipment–a repurposed U.S. Department of Defense tank–suffered a flat tire en route to Times Square for an emergency photo-op with tourists, sources told The Hairbag.