Highway unit finally available for 10-53 on highway
SOUTH BRONX – All eyes are on the Bronx this morning, as confusion shook up the 53rd Precinct in what can only be called a once in a career event. At approximately 1030 hours, a Highway Patrol unit picked up and handled a 10-53 on the Major Deegan Expressway.
The precinct sector who was originally assigned the job reacted with disbelief.
The recorder, PO Coleman, said, “Central gave us this 53 on the Deegan, so out of habit I asked if Highway was available, and when she said yes, I asked her to 10-5 because I thought I heard incorrectly.” Davis proceeded to the nearest bodega and purchased a lottery ticket, proclaiming “If I'm this lucky so far, anything is possible.”
Public records show the last time this happened, David Dinkins was mayor. The radio dispatcher we spoke with echoed Coleman's disbelief. “I called up Highway, and when they said they were coming I couldn’t believe it,” she said, before proceeding to answer the landline before telling multiple units with priority messages to 10-6.
Reporters responded to the scene immediately after hearing the transmission on the radio. When they arrived, a burly Highway cop was seen filling out the Police Accident Report on his heavy-duty clipboard, which we can only assume contained obsolete VTL codes, a variety of confiscated PBA cards from throughout the years, and required activity log insert entitled, “Guidelines for Lecturing Off-Duty UMOS Stopped for Minor Violations.”
The officer, PO Elliot, graciously spent a few minutes speaking with The Hairbag after completing the PAR and issuing a summons to the 95-year old motorist for a broken taillight. “Every now and then, I'll become available and help out the little guys,” said PO Elliot, who is often seen at car stops along the highway but never at a collision.
However, he did admit that one of the motivating factors for today's events was his desire to break in his new leather boots, which he purchased at a discounted price of $500. “Listen, guy, if you wanna' be elite, you gotta look the part,” Elliot declared.
Shortly thereafter, PO Elliot entered his meticulously maintained RMP and drove into the sunset, disappearing into the sea of vehicles. He was not seen again until later that night, where he was heard by our sources complaining about doing an IDTU job for the local precinct.
If history is any indication, the next time a patrol sector can expect to be this lucky is in March 2042, which coincidentally is the projected date for the next solar eclipse.